Pull up a fence post. Things get a little questionable around here.
Click a mugshot to see what they’ve been up to.
WANTED FOR
Possession of an unlicensed fourth cup • Operating under excessive caffeine • Reckless enthusiasm in a confined barnyard
WANTED FOR
Contributing to the delinquency of happy hour • Pour decisions with intent • Inciting dancing after two glasses • Open-container optimism
WANTED FOR
Dancing without regard for structural stability • Failure to remain upright while fabulous • Reckless use of the dance floor
WANTED FOR
Operating an unlicensed barnyard brew house • Reckless use of caffeine and open flame • Brewing without adult supervision
WANTED FOR
Practicing authority without a license • Impersonating someone who knows what he’s talking about
WANTED FOR
Possession of too many dependents and one last nerve • Disturbing the peace while trying to maintain it • Failure to keep her chicks in one zip code
WANTED FOR
Drinking bourbon above the barnyard’s pay grade • Maintaining composure under suspicious circumstances • Refusing anything served with a plastic straw
WANTED FOR
Excessive swagger in a public place • Strutting without a permit • Aggravated self-admiration
WANTED FOR
Operating on coffee, whiskey and poor judgment • Possession of questionable advice and strong coffee • Aiding and abetting another round
WANTED FOR
Assault with a high note • Unlicensed performance of questionable classics • Refusing to surrender the microphone
WANTED FOR
Failure to stop anyone from saying “watch this” • Excessive patience in the line of duty • Harboring known idiots • Maintaining order under impossible circumstances • Aiding and abetting barnyard survival
WANTED FOR
Excessive accessorizing in a livestock district • Aggravated Southern glamour
WANTED FOR
Knowing a guy who knows a guy • Possession of information he was never given • Suspicious procurement activities • Conducting business nobody remembers authorizing
WANTED FOR
Possession of leopard print with intent • Aggravated trailer glamour • Being overdressed and under-supervised
WANTED FOR
Public lounging with intent • Failure to take anything seriously • Contributing absolutely nothing to the urgency of the situation
WANTED FOR
Refusing to mingle with common livestock • Maintaining an unauthorized social hierarchy • Possession of standards exceeding pasture limits • Judging the herd without a license •
WANTED FOR
Aggravated lounge lizard behavior • Conducting business from a leather chair • Unlicensed cigar-and-bourbon negotiations • Looking suspiciously comfortable with other people’s money
WANTED FOR
Being confused at the scene of the crime • Loitering without a clear understanding of events •
WANTED FOR
High-speed well thought-out decisions • excessive horsepower • turning ordinary afternoons into “a situation.”
WANTED FOR
Unsolicited repairs • unauthorized refills • holding innocent bystanders hostage with “one more thing…”
Pick a door. We make no promises about what’s inside.
